


Angelic Infection

by kpop7729



Series: Dimilix Week 2021 [5]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Freeform, M/M, Nonbinary My Unit | Byleth, Post-Canon, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:15:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29601615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kpop7729/pseuds/kpop7729
Summary: White Feathers.For some reason, that's what Felix found himself coughing up one morning.The next morning, feathers were growing out of his skin."You need to be punished for your sins." Felix told Dimitri.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Series: Dimilix Week 2021 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2163615
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6
Collections: 2021 Dimilix Week





	1. Angelic Syndrome

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Angelic Syndrome even though I've never read it before it seems cool. Probably fucking up fe3h lore a bit but it's ok. 
> 
> TW: suicidal thoughts/actions.

White Feathers.

For some reason, that's what Felix found himself coughing up late one morning.

They weren't flowers. Felix had heard stories of people dying from a fictitious disease where they coughed up flowers because of unrequited love. Of course, those weren't true stories. At least, he didn't think they were. Now that he was coughing up feathers he wasn't so sure. Who the hell coughed up feathers? Felix had never heard of anything like this, not even in works of fiction.

If he told Dimitri, he was sure to worry. Maybe he could keep this to himself. See one of the castle's healers on his own. Of course, they would probably end up reporting the visit to Dimitri. He was their king and they were ever loyal. There was no point in telling Dimitri everything. Did they also report that one time a child came to them with a paper cut? He didn't doubt they did. 

But Dimitri was bound to find out at some point. He had to tell him eventually. The sooner the better, he supposed. No use delaying the inevitable.

Might as well get it over with. He couldn't procrastinate any longer. Felix headed over to the king's office. Usually, he'd be over there already but it seemed Dimitri had wanted to let him sleep in. How foolish. Felix should've been up and helping him hours ago. He didn't need much sleep to function. Dimitri's the one that needed to rest more. Still, he was grateful for the extra hours of rest. If only so he could be more awake to deal with whatever the hell was happening to him right now. He never would've expected to wake up coughing up feathers. 

Felix didn't bother knocking before heading inside Dimitri's office. Nothing was private when it came to Felix and Dimitri. It's not like Dimitri bothered knocking on Felix's office or bedroom door before he came inside. Felix could care less but always yelled at him about it anyway. Not that Felix was ever in his room or office. Dimitri's office and chambers basically belonged to him too. Never mind that, he had to focus on telling Dimitri about those damned feathers.

"Why did you let me sleep in?" Felix asked. Might as well scold Dimitri while he still could. Dimitri would soon be fretting over him about the feathers coming out of his mouth and he wouldn't be able to get any scolding in. 

"You seemed like you needed some rest, after last night. I thought it'd be best to let you sleep in for a bit. If you slept much longer I would've come to wake you."

Felix flushed at the mention of last night but he didn't let himself get too distracted. He had to focus on those stupid feathers. He might not even have to tell Dimitri if he couldn't contain the cough threatening to come out right now. The tickle in his throat was almost unbearable. Why did it have to be feathers of all things? Would flowers be less annoying? Hopefully, this wasn't lethal at least. 

"Dimitri-" Felix was about to tell him but couldn't hold back any longer. Tons of feathers were littered on the floor. There were that many feathers in him? It sort of freaked him out. 

"Felix!" Dimitri exclaimed, jumping up from his seat and rushing to Felix's side. He helped the other into a chair. "What happened?"

"I'm not sure. I woke up, and then I was coughing up feathers."

"How is this possible?"

"I don't know. Ask the feathers."

"We need to get you to a healer immediately."

Felix rolled his eyes. "I knew you'd say that."

"Felix, you're coughing up feathers! This is not something to be taken lightly."

Soon they were at the castle's infirmary. The healers checked him out, but couldn't find anything wrong with him, save for the feathers. They promised they'd research it. Dimitri also insisted that they send a letter to Mercedes, Annette, and the professor, who was technically archbishop now. If this had a magical cause, they were sure to be able to help.

"I think it'd be best if you rest for the day." Dimitri told him after they left the infirmary.

"I don't even feel sick." Felix protested. 

"Tell that to the abundant of feathers on our office floor, Felix." 

"I don't even have a fever. There's no reason for me to rest."

"You don't have to feel ill to be ill."

Felix sighed. He hated sitting still. Couldn't stand it. But he didn't think he would win this fight. Dimitri had a point after all. "Fine." Felix agreed through gritted teeth.

"Go to our room and rest. I will come to check on you later."

"I'll be fine." He didn't need Dimitri to be worrying about him all day. He'd never get any work done that way. 

"You will be. As long as you rest. I'm sure the archbishop, Mercedes, and Annette will be able to figure this out."

Felix just nodded and headed toward their room.

When he was laying down, he realized there was nothing he could do but rest, even if he hated it. Usually if he wasn't working, he'd be sharpening his sword skills. If not that then working on some other combat skill. Or taking a ride with Dimitri. It helped Dimitri relax and Felix enjoyed it as well.

But he couldn't do any of that. He just had to sit still in bed. It was agonizing. He could read one of the books Ashe had lent to him, but he hated those stories. Sylvain wasn't even here to annoy him. He was completely alone and bored.

He really shouldn't be looking for a distraction. Ask and you shall receive it seemed. Felix coughed up dozens of feathers onto their bedsheets. Maybe Felix should lay down in his own room. It'd be difficult for Dimitri to sleep with him. Feathers were bound to get all over him.

A little while later there was a knock at the door. It wasn't Dimitri, Felix could tell in an instant. Even if he had bothered to knock it wouldn't sound like that. It wasn't heavy-handed enough.

"Come in," Felix called. He probably should've asked who it was, but he was sure Dimitri warned everyone not to disturb him unless it was important.

"You don't look so good." Sylvain told him, taking a seat at the foot of the bed.

"Thanks. You know, it might be contagious." Felix pointed out.

Sylvain shrugged it off, because he was an idiot. "I'm sure it's not. I mean, you're coughing up feathers. It's the first I've heard of it at least."

"Me too. But a disease has to start somewhere. You could be coughing them up by tomorrow morning."

"I think His Majesty would probably be the first to get it if that were the case." Sylvain was only teasing, but Felix's stomach still dropped. What if he infected Dimitri with whatever the hell was wrong with him? He needed to get a maid to clean out the room, and disinfect Dimitri's office. The hallways too. He couldn't allow this to spread.

"Okay, probably not the best joke to make considering. But nobody else's been coughing them up so far. Do the healers think it's contagious?"

"The healers don't know what the hell is wrong with me. Dimitri insisted letters be sent to the archbishop, Annette, and Mercedes, but it doesn't seem that serious. I don't even feel sick."

"You do look pretty pale. And if the amount of feathers in here is anything to go by, you're probably sick somehow. I'm pretty sure I'm sitting on some feathers right now."

Before Felix could say anything to that, he started coughing up feathers for a good ten seconds. The fits were getting longer, and there were more feathers this time too. Did Sylvain really have to mention those damned things? 

"Your cough doesn't sound too good either. Well, I guess it wouldn't with the feathers coming out of your throat."

"Gee, thanks Sylvain. You should work at the infirmary." Felix said sarcastically.

"Hey, you want the truth, don't you? The archbishop and the others will be here soon anyway. They're bound to be able to figure out what's wrong with you."

"Maybe it'll just…go away on its own." Felix said with some vague hand gestures. There wasn't a big possibility of that, but he could hope.

Sylvain shrugged. "Maybe it's the new version of the 24-hour flu or something."

Felix could only hope, but he doubted it.

Days passed by like that, with Felix coughing up feathers. Dimitri insisted he rested even though he knew it drove Felix crazy. He didn't feel sick. He could work. He could train. He was _fine_.

Ashe, Sylvain, Ingrid, and even Dedue visited him during his bed rest. He was getting sick of talking to people. He wanted to be able to do something. It was especially annoying to talk to Dimitri. He was always so worried about him. After every coughing fit Dimitri looked as if he was going to pass out. He couldn't take all the worrying.

Dimitri of course still slept with him. Regardless if he was coated in feathers in the morning, he held him. Felix argued Dimitri couldn't get any real rest like that, but he wouldn't budge on the matter.

Eventually the archbishop, Annette, and Mercedes showed up. They didn't have any new information, just asked him some questions.

"And you don't know how you could've gotten this? Were you around any feathers before this?" Mercedes asked like it was a completely logical question.

"Oh, maybe he ate a bird that had gone bad!" Annette suggested. How stupid.

"No, I didn't eat anything like that." Felix said in annoyance.

"Are you sure there isn't anything you're not telling us? Any more symptoms you're experiencing?" The archbishop asked.

"Just the feathers and everyone complaining I'm too damn pale." Felix thought for a moment before deciding to say something ridiculous. They should take any leads they could get at this point.

"There were some…ridiculous stories Ashe showed me." Felix couldn't help but turn red at the mention of them. "Something about coughing up flowers. But they were just stories."

"What else happened in them? Did the people turn pale as well?" Mercedes asked.

"I don't know. It was caused by unrequited love." Talking about such a thing made his stomach turn. He was either going to have another coughing fit soon or throw up. "They pathetically died by flowers growing in their lungs if the person they loved didn't love them back."

Mercedes looked concerned, as did Annette. Even the damned archbishop looked worried. "Are things going well with you and Dimitri?" Mercedes asked gently.

"That's-That's not _it!_ We're _fine_. The flower disease or whatever it is is just a story. I have no idea why I'm coughing up feathers. Maybe they're also in some sort of story?"

"I'll have to ask Ashe if he knows anything about it." Annette said.

"If you have any new symptoms, be sure to let one of us know. We'll be sticking around until we can solve this." Mercedes told him, trying to be reassuring.

Felix hated it. All of it. He hated people fussing over him.

Turns out they were right to worry. While his condition remained the same for a while, one morning he woke up feeling different. Not like himself. He immediately knew something was wrong.

Dimitri was still sleeping so he slipped out of bed and got a mirror out to check.

"What the hell?" He couldn't stop himself from exclaiming aloud.

This 'sickness' was getting weirder and weirder. First, he was coughing up feathers. Now it seemed like he somehow had _become_ the feathers.

Well, to be more clear, half of his face was covered in feathers. The left side of his face had white feathers attached to the skin, save for the eye, mouth, and nose area. His left eye was a striking light blue color. Yup, something was definitely wrong with him. He put the mirror down. He couldn't bear to look at himself any longer.

"Felix?" Dimitri said worriedly.

He didn't want Dimitri to have to deal with this first thing in the morning, but that's just how life was sometimes.

Felix turned around.

Dimitri gasped in shock, his eyes wide. He rushed to his side. "What has happened to you?" 

Felix shrugged. "You tell me. I have no idea."

"We must bring you to the infirmary. Surely they can do something. You should've been their highest priority for the past couple of weeks. Surely the archbishop and the others have figured _something_ out by now." Dimitri said desperately.

"Calm down, it's not like I'm dying." At least, he hoped he wasn't. "I'm probably just turning into a giant bird. Not sure which one's worse."

"Don't say something like that!" Dimitri yelled. "If you're truly turning into a bird, at least you'd still be alive. I will not let you die."

"I'm not dying, Dimitri. I still don't feel ill, it's just the coughing. I told you I could work, but you won't let me."

"You're coughing up feathers! Of course I won't let you work. You may be taking this lightly, but I refuse to do the same."

"I'm _not_ taking this lightly. There's just no point in panicking. Let the healers do their job. If they find something, they'll tell us. In the meantime, there's no point in me just laying in here doing nothing. It's been two weeks."

"Two weeks with no results, and your condition is only progressing. I cannot lose you, Felix."

"You're not going to." Felix said in determination. He couldn't let himself die on Dimitri.

"Then please, continue to rest until we figure this out. If you exert yourself too much I'll go crazy with worry." Dimitri said, cupping his now feathery cheek. It felt really weird, but still kind of nice. At least Dimitri wasn't creeped out by the worsening feather problem. Felix looked pretty gross right now.

"And I'll go crazy if I sit still and do nothing. At least bring me some books so I can attempt to figure something out myself. I'm not good at magic but I can't just sit and do nothing."

"At least for today, rest. We'll see how you're feeling and if anything changes tomorrow."

"Fine." Felix grumbled. And that should be that. Dimitri should get ready for work now, or drag Felix to the infirmary for another check up.

_Ba-dum_

He couldn't allow Dimitri to leave.

* * *

Suddenly Felix was pinning Dimitri to the wall. He of course hadn't expected an attack from Felix, so he didn't think to defend himself in time. If his life really were in danger, he'd be able to break free from Felix's grip. But he had to get answers first.

"Felix, what are you doing?" Dimitri questioned.

"You need to be punished for your sins." Felix told him with a blank look on his face.

His stomach dropped and he was certain the room was spinning for a brief moment.

This was all Dimitri's fault. Whatever was happening to Felix, it was because of Dimitri. This was divine punishment for his sins. He'd caused Felix to be like this. Whatever punishment Felix dealt out, he deserved it. Would he return to normal after Dimitri was dealt with?

"If that is what you wish, Felix, I will not stop you. I have committed many sins. I am sorry the world saw fit to involve you in my punishment. My sins are mine alone to bear. You should not be involved in this."

"You're so stupid!" Felix yelled, emotion on his face again. He let go of Dimitri. "I'm turning into a monster. I need you to put me down."

"How could you ask that of me? When I was a monster, you stood by my side. How can you ask me to take your life?" There was no way he was ever doing that, no matter what. Killing Felix was never an option. 

"I just tried to take your life two seconds ago. Even when you were a boar you never tried to kill me."

"I could've." Dimitri still wasn't sure just what monstrosities he was capable of committing, but he was doing his best to be a better person. 

"But you didn't try to. Hurting your family for no good reason is crossing the line. That's when someone truly becomes a monster. You need to put me down."

"I will never do that, no matter how many times you ask."

"Fine." Felix said, a blank expression coming back to his face. Was he going to attack him again?

"I'll take care of it." Felix said.

 _No, no, no, no, no, no-_ "No!" Dimitri yelled. He wrapped Felix in a tight embrace. Felix struggled but there was no way Dimitri was letting him go. He would not let Felix end his life.

"Do not leave me. Please, do not leave me! I cannot handle this without you! I'll become a monster again!" Dimitri begged.

"I'm the real monster. You need to let me take care of it."

"I will _never_ let you harm yourself." Dimitri growled. Felix was a fool to think otherwise.

Felix just sighed and stopped struggling. "There's something weird…in my head."

"What do you mean?" Dimitri asked in concern.

"I don't know." Felix admitted.

"We're going to take you to the infirmary to get checked out, and then you will come back here to rest. You will be watched at all times. I'm going to stay with you as much as possible. Even if you try to attack, I will not let any harm come to you. I'll only leave you with trusted people."

"I don't need to be watched." Felix snapped.

"I won't allow you to be alone for a moment after you almost hurt yourself. If I had my way you would never leave my sight, but I don't think that'd be possible."

"Fine. You can let me go now." Felix said. Dimitri still held him tightly.

"Promise me you won't harm yourself Felix."

"Dimitri-"

"Promise me!" Dimitri shouted.

"I promise." Felix reluctantly agreed.

"Thank you," Dimitri said. He let go, only to cup both of Felix's cheeks.

"This isn't exactly letting me go." Felix complained, avoiding eye contact with Dimitri. 

"I just need to make sure you're alright. We should go to the infirmary now. Maybe these new symptoms will give us a clue as to what is going on." He hoped they would.

They didn't.


	2. Resurrection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: suicidal thoughts/actions.

The next morning when Dimitri awoke, Felix was on top of him, pinning him to the bed. He was going to attempt to take his life again, wasn't he? If that would fix this, Dimitri would let him.

Felix had changed again. This time, white feathery wings had grown upon his back. Angel wings. Felix was an angel. He certainly looked as breathtaking as one, perhaps even more so. 

His grip was tight. Thankfully his claws weren't digging into Dimitri's skin. It seemed he had also developed those overnight. How had Dimitri not woken up from the new developments? His hands also had some white feathers on them here and there but weren't completely covered with them. Those were all the changes that were visible to Dimitri at the moment.

"You still don't wish to put me down?" Felix questioned, his face blank. Something about him sounded off. He did not sound like himself anymore.

"No. You cannot ask me to do that. If you need to take my life, you may do so."

"This isn't just about you." Felix snapped. The anger quickly came upon his face and vanished just as quickly. "This is about all of mankind." His blank expression was back. "Everyone has sinned. I will kill them all."

"I cannot let you do that, Felix." Dimitri would not allow Felix to get hurt, but he couldn't let his friends get hurt either, or his people. Dimitri had a duty to protect them.

"It's my duty to kill them. It's the only way for their salvation."

"What about you? Are you not still human?" Dimitri blurted. His heart was pounding. What a foolish thing to say! He shouldn't have said that. He didn't want Felix to harm himself, he wouldn't let him. But he had to try something. That was the only thing he could think of to say at the moment. But it was also one of the stupidest things to say. He wished he hadn't said such a thing.

"I'm not fully human, though a disgraceful part of me still is. The reason I am like this is because she thought it right, and she will have her revenge. If a path of blood is what it takes, so be it. She will walk the earth again."

Dimitri's blood ran cold. What on earth was Felix talking about? Dimitri had to think of something, and fast.

"Felix, I'm not sure I understand what you're saying. Perhaps we can talk this out. I can help you figure out a solution to your problem."

"I already have a solution. I need to kill the sinners and resurrect the goddess."

So that was the person's aim, whoever did this to Felix. Who was the 'she' Felix was talking about? The first person Dimitri thought of was Cornelia, but she was long since dead. Edelgard was also dead. Who could've done this? What woman was he talking about?

"Who asked you to do this for them? You do not have to take orders from anyone." Dimitri reminded him. 

"She did, for she is the holy child."

Dimitri still didn't understand much, but he knew he had to stop Felix. "Felix, this isn't what you want. You can't let her make you do this. You still have your own free will. You don't wish to kill innocent people. You would never harm our friends. We've all sinned, and so has she for doing this to you. Will you be able to kill Sylvain? Ingrid? Annette? Any of our friends? You don't want them to die, Felix. I know you don't."

"I'm not sure. Felix didn't want that, but I do not know if I am him. Is Felix dead?"

" _No_." Dimitri growled. "You cannot die. I will not allow it."

"It might be too late."

"It's not too late! You're still breathing. You're still alive, Felix. Please don't leave me alone." Dimitri pleaded, his voice breaking.

"There's more to being alive than just breathing."

"How can you claim you're dead when you're right in front of me!?" Dimitri shouldn't be yelling, it meant people would be coming now. Since the events of yesterday his friends insisted on being nearby in case anything happened to him or Felix. Even if Felix attacked him, he would not allow them to harm him. 

"Your Majesty, are you alright?" Ingrid asked, rushing into the room. Dedue followed behind her.

"Yes, I'm fine." Dimitri answered.

"Your Majesty, Felix is pinning you down." Ingrid pointed out. 

"I'm aware." Dimitri responded. 

Ingrid's face reddened for some reason. Oh, did she think that…that's not what they were doing, but it could work in their favor.

"Would you mind leaving us?" Dimitri asked.

"O-of course." Ingrid said. She didn't bother bowing before she left.

Dedue didn't follow.

"Your Majesty, forgive me if you were in the middle of…something, but I cannot shake the feeling that you were not doing what Ingrid assumed."

Dimitri smiled in spite of himself. "You know me too well, Dedue. But do not attack him. You're allowed to defend yourself if needed of course, but do not hurt him."

"I'm right here, you know." Felix said in irritation, getting off of Dimitri.

"You're back to yourself?" Dimitri asked.

"I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. I just know there's something weird going on in my head. I don't understand anything. I don't even know exactly who I am anymore."

"You're Felix." Dimitri said, taking his feathered hands in his.

Felix shook his head. "I don't know."

"You still seem to be Felix, but His Majesty would know better than I."

"There's no reason to be formal around me. I call him Dimitri too." Felix said in annoyance. Dedue would call Dimitri by his name, but only when they were alone. It seemed Felix was no exception.

"But you are His Majesty's beloved."

Felix's face suddenly had more color to it than it had in days. He pulled his hands away from Dimitri's. "A-And you're his friend. Also, never say that again."

Dedue looked as if he found the situation amusing. Dimitri found it rather amusing as well.

"What's the situation?" Dedue asked, dropping the subject. Dimitri noted that Dedue never agreed to Felix's request. 

"Apparently, I want to resurrect the goddess." Felix told him.

"Why do you want to do that?"

"I'm not sure. I don't remember anymore."

"Do you know who the woman you were talking about is?" Dimitri asked.

"I don't know. I said she was the holy child, and she wanted revenge. Perhaps the goddess' child? That seems right, but I can't be certain. The part about her walking the earth again was referring to the goddess."

"So this woman wants to resurrect the goddess and saw it fit for you to do her dirty work? Despicable." Dimitri spat. He tried not to succumb to hatred anymore but she was making it hard.

"Now that we know more about Felix's situation, we can start to look in a different direction. And we can also look for the woman who is trying to resurrect the goddess. Do we know anything else about her?" Dedue asked.

Felix shook his head. "Not that I can recall. If you give it a minute I might attack Dimitri again and then you can figure something else out."

Dedue looked a bit alarmed at that. "I can take care of myself, Dedue. You do not have to worry about leaving me alone with Felix." Dimitri reassured. 

"It'd better if he wasn't left alone with me. I don't trust myself. I also don't trust him to defend himself." Felix said, glaring at Dimitri.

"Before I thought all you needed was my life, but now that I know it is not the only one at stake I will not be so foolish. I will not allow myself to die knowing others are at risk as well." Dimitri told him.

"If it comes down to it, do what you have to." Felix told him.

"Do not speak like that! I told you I cannot lose you."

"Precisely why I can't trust you to do what needs to be done."

This was unfair. He'd already killed Edelgard, and some of his former classmates. His teachers. He didn't want to kill anyone else that he'd considered a friend or family. Felix was more than both of those things. He couldn't bear to lose him.

Dimitri grabbed Felix's wrists, perhaps getting closer than necessary to his face. "I'm perfectly capable of subduing you without killing you. I will not let you die." He swore. The way he had said it sounded like a threat. Dimitri supposed it did count as one.

"As long as you get the job done." Felix said, pulling away from Dimitri.

"Should I get the archbishop to check Felix out?" Dedue suggested.

"I think that would be a wise decision. Thank you, Dedue."

"You're welcome, Dimitri." Dedue said before leaving.

"Perhaps it'd be best to keep me restrained." Felix suggested after Dedue left.

"I will not allow that."

"I'll mention it to the archbishop then."

"Felix," Dimitri said, anger evident in his tone.

"Dimitri," Felix replied, angry as well.

"Are you in any pain?" He decided to change the subject. He couldn't let anything happen to him, he wouldn't allow it. 

"No, I don't even have the tickle in my throat anymore. I think the cough is gone. I'm just starting to mutate more." Felix said in disgust.

"You do know that I think you're beautiful no matter what, don't you?"

"You need to get your eye checked."

"Felix," Dimitri said, taking his face in his hands. He was doing that a lot, but it was important for Felix to know that he still loved him no matter what. He brushed his thumb over Felix's feathery cheek. "You're beautiful. I understand if you do not like the form you are in now considering it was not your choice. But no matter how much you change, you still remain as enchanting as ever. No matter how much time comes to pass, that will always be true. You don't ever have to worry about me not liking your appearance, because that will never happen."

Felix's face flushed. At least, the side without the feathers did. "Y-You can't just _say_ stuff like that." 

"If not at a moment like this, then when?" Dimitri teased.

"We don't do sappy things." Felix protested.

"I believe you mean to say you don't do sappy things. I rather enjoy saying things like this to you."

"You're an idiot."

Dimitri just chuckled. He pulled back and placed a kiss on Felix's cheeks. First his right and then his left. Dimitri had never kissed feathers before, they were very soft.

Soon enough, the archbishop came, followed by Mercedes and Annette.

"Dedue told us what he knew about the situation." The archbishop told them. "I think it'd be best to get more information. Is there a specific time when the switch in mood occurs?"

"Now that you mention it, it seems like it usually happens shortly after I wake up." Felix said.

"I guess we'll have to stay here until morning then." The archbishop said.

"So it'll be like a sleepover? This is exciting!" Annette exclaimed. She seemed rather positive given the current situation.

"Perhaps I can get some sweets ready. Should we invite the others?" Mercedes questioned.

"The room is big enough. I'm sure we could fit seven sleeping bags in here." Annette said.

"No need to get so excited about it. I might try to kill you all in the middle of the night." Felix said.

"When you do attempt to kill me, you give me plenty of time to get away. You also ask me to kill you instead. I think we should have someone awake at all times for _your_ safety, Felix." Dimitri said.

"I don't need anyone to keep an eye on me." Felix protested.

"Then make sure you keep your promise about not leaving me." 

"We'll get supplies and meet back here tonight." The archbishop said.

The three of them left. Dimitri wasn't intending to leave Felix's side for the rest of the day. Ever if possible. 

"Don't you have work to do?" Felix asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I need rest." Dimitri said, resting his head on Felix's shoulder. What he really needed was to make sure Felix was alright.

"Alright," Felix said. He then started stroking Dimitri's hair. It was relaxing. Dimitri could almost pretend everything was okay, if not for the different feel of Felix's hands.

They rested for the rest of their day. Their meals were brought to them in their chambers.

After dinner, Dedue, Mercedes, Annette, Sylvain, Ingrid, Ashe, and the archbishop filed into their room, supplies in hand.

Mercedes ended up bringing sweets. Annette and Ashe managed to get the group to agree to play a couple of games. Mercedes told scary stories that made Annette and Ashe reluctant to go to bed that night.

Felix didn't have a proper nightshirt that would work with his wings. Mercedes had thought ahead and made a nightshirt for him with some rough estimates. She said she'd work on making him some proper clothes tomorrow. 

Things were great that night. Dimitri almost felt relaxed. However every time he looked at Felix, he couldn't help but be worried. But with all their friends there, they were bound to be alright. They'd figure something out. Felix would be okay.


	3. No Savior for the Saint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: suicidal thoughts/actions. Talks of Violence.

The next morning Felix did not attack like expected. Instead, he got out of bed and went to the window, opening the curtains.

"It's too early." Sylvain groaned, covering his eyes.

"If you can't even handle this amount of light your souls are even more decayed than I thought."

So Felix was in that state of mind, he just didn't go straight to attacking. Did it have to do with the amount of people there or did Felix just not feel like fighting today?

"Felix," The archbishop stood up, their hair messy from sleep. "What is your intent?"

Felix turned to them, his face devoid of emotion. "My purpose is to kill mankind to save their souls."

"That doesn't sound like too good of an idea. Would killing mankind really help anyone? Then everyone would be dead." Sylvain said. Dimitri did not think that was going to persuade Felix at all.

"Humans have sinned far too much. Besides, she needs sacrifices."

"For what? So she can resurrect the goddess?" Ingrid asked.

"Precisely. " Felix answered.

"And who is this person, Felix?" The archbishop asked.

"The holy child."

"And who is that?" The archbishop questioned.

"You of all people should know, but I suppose I will have to tell you. The Immaculate One."

"Who is that, Felix?" The archbishop asked. No one knew who Felix was talking about.

"You truly do not know her? Are you really connected to the goddess? Some people may call her Saint Seiros."

"Is Saint Seiros still alive?" Mercedes asked in shock.

"Of course." Felix responded.

"She is no saint if she is willing to use you like this. There is nothing holy about this woman." Dimitri spat.

"I can't imagine a saint doing something like this." Mercedes said, looking troubled. This must be difficult for her. She was an especially devout follower of the church. Saint or not, Dimitri would not let this woman off easy for hurting Felix.

"Perhaps she is an imposter?" Dedue suggested.

"She is a saint. I will not allow you to tarnish her name like that." Felix said, walking toward Dedue. Dimitri moved to stand in front of Dedue.

"Your Majesty, I am also capable of protecting myself." Dedue told him.

"I told you I would not allow you to throw your life away again."

Felix tilted his head to the side. "I can get rid of both of you if you wish."

"You will not do that. Even now, I know you are holding back. You don't have the intention to kill any of us." Dimitri told him.

"It is what she wishes." Felix stated.

"And you take orders from no one." Dimitri reminded him. Felix wouldn't let anyone tell him what to do.

"Do you know where Seiros is, Felix?" The archbishop suddenly asked.

Felix shook his head. "I do not know. She only speaks to me in my dreams."

"Wait a while longer for the sacrifices, Felix. I want to try and contact Sothis before you do anything." The archbishop said.

"You do not trust the holy child's words?" Felix questioned.

"It's not that I don't trust them. I would feel more comfortable trying to talk to Sothis before we do anything. At the very least I can tell her about the plan."

Felix looked like he was considering for a while before he decided. "I suppose I can wait one more day. But you have to contact the goddess before the sun rises again."

The archbishop only nodded in response.

"I didn't know you could talk to the goddess, archbishop!" Mercedes exclaimed in shock.

"It didn't come up until now." The archbishop said. 

"I wonder what other secrets the archbishops hiding. Is the goddess as gorgeous as I'd assume?" Sylvain asked.

"Sylvain, now's not the time for that. May I remind you you're talking about the goddess?" Ingrid scolded.

Sylvain shrugged. "It was just a question."

"I'm going to bed." The archbishop said abruptly, collecting their things.

"Did you not get much sleep?" Ashe asked in confusion.

"I need to try to contact the goddess as quickly as possible. Dreams are where I used to talk with her. Mercedes, I need your assistance."

"Of course, archbishop."

"What do you want the rest of us to do, Your Majesty?" Ashe asked after Mercedes and the archbishop left.

"Felix?" He needed to know where Felix's head was at before he answered.

Felix simply folded his white wings behind his back. The action was memorizing.

"Unless someone is offering a sacrifice, I do not have need of anything." Felix answered. So he still wasn't himself it seemed.

"Will you be alright staying here with me today?" Dimitri asked.

"I'd prefer to be away from the sinners, but this body has also sinned. Does it also count as a sacrifice?"

Dimitri walked toward Felix and grabbed his shoulders. "You will _not_ harm yourself. You promised me you wouldn't harm yourself!"

"You're right. I cannot sacrifice myself before I kill the other sinners."

"I am taking the day off." Dimitri announced to the others. "If it's something urgent, come tell me. Otherwise, I do not want to be bothered. We will take our meals in here again today."

The others bowed before leaving, following his orders. That just left him and Felix. Dimitri wondered if he would be in this mindset all day, or if he'd snap out of it soon.

"You can let go of me now." Felix said in annoyance. Thankfully it seemed Felix had come back to himself.

That's right, Dimitri was still holding his shoulders. A bit too tightly, he noticed. Dimitri immediately let go. "I'm sorry, are you alright?" Dimitri asked. Felix nodded, taking a seat on the bed. Dimitri sat next to him.

"I need you to kill me if the archbishop can't get in touch with the goddess." Felix said.

"I told you Felix, I will not allow you to die. Please stop saying things like that, I beg you." Dimitri pleaded.

"Dimitri, you don't understand. If the archbishop doesn't talk to her, I'll kill everyone here. I've been holding back until now. I don't really know what I'm capable of. I don't know if tomorrow I'll wake up and be more monstrous looking than I already am. You can't let me hurt anyone."

"I understand perfectly well, Felix. You want to give up before we even try. I will not allow you to kill anyone, or allow anyone to kill you. We can restrain you if necessary, but you will not die."

"I wish I could remember what the hell I was talking about." Felix said, his head in his hands.

Dimitri took his hands away from his head and held them in his own. "I'm sure the Archbishop will be able to figure it out. No one will be able to rest until you are safe."

"I think Saint Seiros also goes by a different name. I knew in my dream, but I can't remember it when I wake up."

Dimitri raised an eyebrow. "So if I understand correctly, Saint Seiros is the Immaculate One. At least that is who the woman in your dreams claims to be. You also call her the holy child."

Felix nodded in confirmation. "That about sums it up. There's another name she goes by, and it's important, but I can't remember."

"Do you remember what she looks like?" Dimitri asked.

"She doesn't speak to me in her human form. She's a dragon when she talks to me."

"Do you remember what that form looks like?" Dimitri asked hopefully. It was something at least. Maybe someone would recognize it. He'd never heard of the Immaculate One or of Saint Seiros being a dragon, but anything was possible at this point. Even if this really was a so-called saint they were dealing with, Dimitri wouldn't let her get away with this.

"I do," Felix answered.

"Perhaps we could ask someone to sketch it for us." Dimitri suggested. He recalled a maid in the castle with a talent for drawing. Maybe she'd be able to do it. "We'll ask people if they recognize the picture. I'll send a letter to Claude and the archbishop can contact other members of the church. Perhaps the archbishop herself will recognize the picture."

"It's worth a try." Felix agreed. 

"If I go tell someone to send an artist our way, promise me you won't do anything foolish." Dimitri said, gently squeezing Felix's hands.

"You can leave me alone for five seconds. I won't do anything. I'm going to wait until the archbishop has answers."

"Thank you," Dimitri said sincerely, squeezing Felix's hands once more before letting go.

It took the maid a few tries to get the drawing right, but eventually Felix seemed satisfied with the picture. He said it looked close to the image in his head. The picture Felix described to the maid was a very large disturbing looking dragon. Bones were sticking out unnaturally on the outside of its body. It had horns on its head made of bones and dozens of teeth of varying lengths inside its mouth. Felix described the sclera of its eyes to be black, and the iris as pure white. If Dimitri had his way the monster that was tormenting Felix would be dead after Dimitri was done with it. Of course, after it suffered a hundred times worse than Felix had for what it had done. Only then would it be allowed to die. 

Dimitri had people show the picture to everyone all over the castle, but no one recognized it. Eventually it made its way to the archbishop, and that's when they finally got some answers.

"That's the former archbishop." The current archbishop and former professor informed them later that day.

"You mean that's Lady Reha?" Dimitri asked in shock. 

"Yes." The archbishop and Felix both answered. "I remember now." Felix added.

"So Lady- no, that _monster_ is the one who's been tormenting Felix all this time?"

The archbishop only nodded.

"That vial woman. When I get my hands on her-" Dimitri was cut off by the sound of their nightstand breaking. He hadn't even realized he had touched it. 

"You have to calm down. We know who it is now, and we can stop this. Did you manage to contact the goddess?" Felix asked.

The archbishop shook their head. "I'm going to keep trying. Don't do anything tomorrow until you talk to me first."

Felix nodded but avoided looking at them.

After the archbishop left, Dimitri said. "Felix, now that we know who the monster is that's controlling you, do you think it'd be possible to break free of her spell?" It wasn't likely but Dimitri could hope.

Felix only shook his head. He was looking at the ground, not at Dimitri.

"Does that mean she is a child of the goddess? Is that woman really the saint she claims to be?" Dimitri asked, venom in his voice.

"I guess. I only know what she tells me."

"If she is really the goddess' child I have no doubt divine punishment will befall her, likely from the goddess herself. If the goddess does not wish to harm her child I will gladly do the job in her stead." Dimitri said. He couldn't help but smile at the thought of being able to punish this woman for what she had done to Felix. 

"I told you to calm down," Felix said, looking at Dimitri this time. His new appearance was going to take some getting used to, but Dimitri really did find Felix beautiful. Perhaps he shouldn't, considering a monster did this to him. But this was Felix. Surely it wasn't wrong for Dimitri to appreciate his beauty? 

"Dimitri," Felix snapped. It seemed he had gotten lost in his thoughts. 

"Sorry, what did you say?"

"I said you have to calm down."

"Forgive me, but now that I know who the culprit is it is difficult to resist the urge to rip her throat out. But, I wouldn't start with that. Her suffering would end much too quickly that way. Or perhaps it wouldn't considering she's a child of the goddess? No matter, it's best to drag out her pain as much as possible. Perhaps I could start by-" 

"Dimitri!" Felix yelled. Dimitri finally registered Felix shaking him by the shoulders. It was getting harder for Dimitri to control himself. All he wanted was for Felix to be okay, and for that woman to be punished. She is the one who had sinned most of all. But he couldn't let his thoughts wander this time. 

"I apologize. Perhaps it's best if we move to a different topic." Dimitri suggested, but what else was there to talk about other than what this woman was doing to Felix? 

"I agree." Felix said, releasing him. 

For the rest of the day, Dimitri did his best not to let his mind wander too much in a violent direction. It was difficult, but Felix was there to help him snap out of it. Which wasn't right. He should be the one helping Felix right now, not the other way around. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, the archbishop would have news from the goddess. They would put a stop to this. They had to have contacted the goddess by tomorrow, Dimitri could not think otherwise. Otherwise they would have failed Felix. Dimitri would have failed Felix. 


	4. Humanity's Salvation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: suicidal thoughts/actions. Implied suicide. Death. Violence. Blood. 

The next morning, as soon as the sun rose Felix awoke. Luckily the archbishop was there before Felix could decide it useless to wait for them.

"Felix, I want you to listen to everything I have to say before you decide to do anything." The archbishop said. This didn't sound like good news. 

Felix only nodded in response. His face was devoid of emotion. It was becoming a common sight in the morning. 

"I couldn't contact the goddess." The archbishop explained. Dimitri shouldn't have been so foolish to cling to the hope that they would. Of course it wouldn't be that easy. Of course they wouldn't be able to contact the goddess on command. Of course they would have failed. Of course Dimitri would fail again. There was nothing he could do to help Felix now. He didn't know what to do. He had to do something! 

"But she does live inside of me." The archbishop continued. Dimitri had to make sure he paid attention. Even if this wasn't good news, it was crucial information. "My hair and eye color are proof of that. We could try contacting Seteth and Flayn for information. I think they might know something about this. Or let me go talk to Lady Reha directly. What I'm really asking for is a bit more time." The archbishop explained. They were right, they knew the monster was Reha. They could hunt her down and stop this. They _would_ hunt her down and stop this. Dimitri would make sure to personally see to her punishment if the goddess did not intend to intervene. 

"I told you that you had to contact the goddess before the sun rose. I do not intend to go back on my word." Felix said, before shooting a blast of white magic at Dimitri.

Dimitri wasn't expecting the attack so he didn't think to dodge in time. It wasn't enough to knock him down but it still had hurt. He couldn't attack Felix, but he had to do something. He needed to stop him before someone else got hurt. 

"Felix, you do not have to do this. If I did not take back what I said sometimes, you would have a monster for a king. It's alright to give it a bit more time before you get sacrifices. You can talk to that woman directly if you want to." He couldn't help the disdain dripping into his voice at the mention of her.

"We have no more time. The goddess needs to be resurrected _now_. She should not have to wait for her return any longer." The irritation in his voice was so much like his usual self that it startled Dimitri. But he could not falter. 

"If you attempt to get sacrifices now, you'll regret it later. You know you will. I promise that you will." Dimitri tried in desperation. 

"And how do I deal with the regret that will come if I don't fulfill my purpose?" Felix asked. His voice was back to being emotionless. 

"You may come to realize that your purpose is not what you think it is. I should know." Dimitri thought he needed to appease the dead and give them their her- Edelgard's- head. But that hadn't been true. That wasn't Dimitri's purpose. Killing was not his purpose. After so many lives were taken from him, why had he thought killing was his purpose? How foolish could he be? 

"Whether I come to regret my decision or not, you will not live to see." Felix said, before shooting another blast of magic at Dimitri. It was meant to do some real damage and sent Dimitri to the floor. 

"Enough," He heard the archbishop say. The archbishop used a silence spell, which blocked Felix from using magic. That seemed to anger him. His wings unfolded and he let out an inhuman shriek. All the glass in the room exploded. Dimitri covered his face at the explosion. While shards didn't hit his face, some struck his arm, embedding into his skin. Dimitri got up to see the archbishop somehow remained unscathed. Felix however, did not remain unscathed. There was a cut on his cheek and glass in his arm. 

"Felix!" Dimitri exclaimed. He reached for him, albeit too quickly. He had forgotten he was injured as well. 

"Don't touch me!" Felix yelled. He tried to send a blast of magic his way but it didn't work. 

"You're injured." Dimitri said. 

"You expect me to call a truce because of this? This won't stop me. I'll kill you and your whole kingdom!" Felix yelled in rage. He couldn't shout stuff like that. The knights would hear. The knights would hear and they wouldn't think twice about killing Felix. At least the ones that were not friends with them. 

"How exactly do you plan to resurrect the goddess when she lives inside of me?" The archbishop asked. 

"You will give up your life as well. They know, they all know. They don't care." Felix said ominously. 

"You need my body for this experiment, correct?" The archbishop pulled their dagger out and placed it in front of their throat as they were asking the question. If the answer was no, they were doomed.

"We do, so I suggest you put the dagger down." Felix said. His tone sounded like Felix. There were no more blank expressions on his face. 

"If I am to die too early, you can't do your experiment." The archbishop did not move the blade away from their neck. 

"I will not allow you to kill yourself. You will still live on, it's just that your life will not be your own. Unless you are already the goddess, even now she does not know." 

"I'm doing this because I won't allow you to kill yourself. Trying to resurrect the goddess is a death sentence."

"I'm more than willing to sacrifice my life for the holy child." 

"She is not a holy woman, Felix. She would not be doing this if she was. The goddess would not want you to kill people in her name!" Dimitri said. 

"I know she wouldn't, and I've spoken to her before." The archbishop said. 

"If I agree to go with you to the monastery, this is your last chance." Felix said, sounding annoyed. Was that good or bad? 

"I'll make it count then." The archbishop said, putting their dagger away.

Dimitri and Felix got healed, and soon enough they were headed toward Garreg Mach Monastery. Knights accompanied them this time. The Knights of Seiros that had accompanied the archbishop on their journey here. Their friends were also traveling with them. He needed as many people on Felix's side as possible should he attack again. Dimitri already told the Knights of Seiros not to kill Felix, but he couldn't be sure they'd listen. The archbishop ordered them as well, and they did not have to worry about the archbishop being in any danger from Felix. Perhaps they would listen after all. 

* * *

It would be sundown soon. 

It was time. 

He couldn't help the fit of maniacal laughter that overtook him. This was _it!_ The goddess would finally walk the earth again! 

"Felix," Dimitri called to him, but he wasn't Felix. Or maybe he was. It didn't matter. He had a job to do. 

"You're all a bunch of fools." He said, his mouth curling into a smile. The Knights of Seiros readied their weapons but didn't attack. He didn't understand why they brought out their weapons. They should be willing to sacrifice themselves! Were they not followers of the church? They didn't deserve to live if they had such little respect for the goddess! If they didn't die here Sothis would surely strike them as punishment. If not, The Immaculate One would take care of it. If he could do his job, she told him she'd take care of everything. 

"I've been waiting for you to die all this time. The goddess is finally going to walk the earth again!" He exclaimed in delight. 

"Felix, do not attack us. You promised us you'd wait." Dimitri pleaded. It was useless. It was too late. They were already as good as dead. All of them. 

"Don't you see? You don't feel it yet? You're all dead! All of you!" He broke into another laughing fit. 

"Felix," Dimitri said quietly. 

Choking. 

It was a Knight of Seiros first. How ironic. The knight coughed up black feathers and blood. The stream wouldn't stop. The knight was dying. They were all dead. 

There was a tickle in the back of his throat. 

"Felix, whatever this is, stop it at once!" Dimitri yelled, eyes wide in horror. 

"You can kill me if you want, it doesn't matter. It's too late. We're all dead." He told him. 

"We should've killed him when we had the chance!" Another Knight of Seiros yelled. The knight coughed up blood and feathers up a moment later. He couldn't help but laugh. 

Mercedes was casting a bunch of healing spells, but none would be able to stop this. 

"We can't just die like this! This can't be the end!" Annette yelled, only to cough up blood a second later. 

His heart clenched. 

Bodies were falling. Knights of Seiros were dead. Annette was dying. The king would also fall with his men. Soon he too would be dead. 

He coughed up black feathers and blood. He wasn't scared. Anything for the goddess and her holy child. 

"I'm sorry," The goddess' vessel said, a rare hint of emotion coming into their voice. Or was this the goddess now? Would she finally reclaim her rightful spot on the holy throne? 

And then the goddess was dead again. After all the years of hard work, the goddess was dead! But he hadn't done any work, he hadn't done anything. Why was he so upset? Who was he truly? 

"Professor!" Dimitri screamed. A lot of the humans screamed. Annette wasn't dead. Only the goddess' vassal and the Holy Knights of Seiros. It really was ironic, wasn't it? 

There were a lot of tears. A lot of the humans were sobbing. Or maybe it was raining? He felt wet as well. No, he realized, it wasn't raining. He was crying. 

"I'm so sorry. I..." Dimitri walked toward the goddess' vassal's fallen body hesitantly as if they might protest. They couldn't. They were dead. The dead could not come back to life. Felix should know better. 

He cradled the dead professor, archbishop, goddess' vassal in his arms. For some reason, Felix fell to his knees. 

"They're...They're still breathing." Dimitri exclaimed with wonder in his voice. 

"That's not possible." Someone said. It was his own voice, but it didn't sound like it. It was thick with tears. Felix hadn't cried in years. Why was he crying?

Mercedes came over to check if what Dimitri said was true. She used some sort of magic on the archbishop and checked them over. "They don't have a pulse, but they never have. They're breathing although they shouldn't have survived a wound like that." 

"The professor...has slept for five years before, haven't they? Surely if that's possible... if they sleep for a while, perhaps they could wake again." Dimitri said, trying to process the information. 

"Thank goodness." Annette said, still crying. 

"It wouldn't be all that strange if the professor survived a fatal wound. They're always doing the impossible after all." Sylvain said. 

"I thought we had really...we had lost them." Ingrid said sorrowfully. 

"I'm so glad they're not dead." Ashe said. 

"It may be awhile, but we will wait for their return." Dedue said. 

"I..." Felix didn't know what to say. What to think anymore. He had caused this, hadn't he? He'd killed innocents. He was a monster. 

"Felix," Sylvain said. They all turned to look at Felix. Dimitri's expression looked haunted. Felix had caused that. He couldn't help but stare at the ground. 

He gulped. 

"Yeah?" 

"Are you...are you Felix?" Sylvain continued. 

He nodded his head, picking himself up off the ground. 

Suddenly arms were around him. Sylvain was hugging him. It was weird. Felix wasn't one for physical contact. Dimitri was the exception sometimes. But Dimitri was...Felix had...he'd hurt him. He'd caused Dimitri pain. He'd turned into the monster he was so afraid of Dimitri becoming. Dimitri was suffering because of him. 

"I'm so glad you're not dead." Sylvain said. Why was he saying that? He had killed everyone. He didn't deserve to be living right now. 

"If you're thinking something stupid, remember our promise." Sylvain said, pulling back. 

Right. He had a promise to keep. 

He could keep it, couldn't he? 

"Felix," Dimitri said, coming over to him. Dedue was holding the professor now. "Felix, please, you cannot leave me. I won't allow it. I won't be able to handle losing you too. I've lost them all already, and I can't Felix, I _can't_ , I can't go on if-" 

"I'm not leaving you." Felix said finally. "I'm...I'm _sorry_." The stupid tears started to fall again. He really had the nerve to cry after all he'd done?

"It's over now, Felix." Dimitri hugged him this time. Felix noticed that the feathers were gone. They'd been gone ever since the professor had died, hadn't they? He just hadn't noticed. 

Dimitri's hug was a bit too tight, Felix was sure to have a bruise or two. Still, he couldn't find it in himself to protest. How could Dimitri bear to touch him after what he'd done? 

"We'll be able to heal Felix. We'll all work on healing together." Mercedes said, talking about healing emotionally rather than physically. He guessed her words were supposed to be comforting, but they weren't. He hoped at least his friends could heal. Felix would never forgive himself for what he'd done. Could he really hope to heal? Would Dimitri be able to heal from this? Would the archbishop really wake up again? 

He just hoped they'd all be okay. 


End file.
